Pillows – a cultural divide or gender issue?

After recovering from the excitement over the almost-disaster of buying plane tickets on-line, let’s do some pillowtalk: 

Yesterday I was checking out some posts on one of my favourite interior design web-sites; ApartmentTherapy.com, when I saw the following comment “Do Swedish people not use or need pillows?” on a post about a Swedish summerhouse and it made me think of the cultural differences of pillow use.

An American bed in Pennsylvania

In the US a bed doesn’t seem to be entirely made until it is covered in pillows and shams. Sham is another American word that I had never heard (in the bed context) until I moved to Puerto Rico! It always makes me think of a scene in Sex and the City where Charlotte and her then-husband Trey are arguing while un-making the bed, pillow by pillow (or shams?)… It is quite a funny scene, even though they are discussing the serious subject of infertility, but the whole pillow&sham situation makes it silly.

So, no wonder that the American (I presume) reader of the Swedish summerhouse post thought that the pillow-less beds looked a little bare (see bedroom photo in the post linked above)! I guess that the pillows might have been removed for the photo shoot or maybe the people owning the house don’t use pillows! In my family, both my parents sleep with very thin pillows, and I am always complaining that the pillows at home are useless (too flat).

In our summerhouse (guesthouse) we have both pillows and some decorative ”shams” – but just one on the bed and two in the sofa

When I arrived to our furnished apartment here in San Juan, one of the first things I did was remove all the decorative pillows and shams that were covering the bed! I think that I counted to 8 pieces, and I was actually a little confused – which ones stay in the bed and which are to be removed when sleeping?

Some of the pillows and shams on the floor next to the bed before I gave up and hid them in a wardrobe

Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE pillows and sometimes go under the name of “The Pillow Girl” (O’s nickname for me). I need at least three pillows – two for under my head and one to hug while sleeping. O uses one… Recently we bought new pillows (memory-foam) and I tried twice to sleep on one – but it hurt my neck as it was too high. Funny, O now uses one of the memory foam pillows even though it is higher than two of our old feather-down pillows together.

However, you can call me lazy, but I don’t want to spend 5 minutes every night removing stuff from the bed… We actually never use the bedspread (överkast), and just re-arrange the sheet (duvet when living in a cooler climate) and the pillows we sleep on in order to make the bed in the morning.

All these pillows are to be slept on – except for the “king-size” pillows behind the smaller pillows, that are used to cushion against the hard bedframe

Nevertheless, there is one place where I don’t think you can have too many pillows and it is in the sofa! The other day when Saltis and I were sitting down for a cup of tea in their sofa, she made the remark that her husband always gets annoyed with all the pillows in the sofa and throws them on the floor – O does the same!! Is it a girl thing to like pillows?? What do you think – do you also have lots of pillows in your sofa?

And a question: In which European country do you have SQUARE pillows (for the bed)? In the US there is something called Euro-sham, which measures 26″ x 26″ (66 cm x 66 cm) and I am curious where that measurement comes from? I am trying to think of the different pillows I have slept on in different countries – they all seem to have been rectangular (usually longer than the Swedish ones, which are 50 x 60 cm).   

For those of you who are interested in definitions:
Pillow: a bag or case made of cloth that is filled with feathers, down, or other soft material, and is used to cushion the head during sleep or rest
Sham: a cover or the like for giving a thing a different outward appearance: a pillow sham. A pillow sham is used for a pillow that is only decorative.
Cushion: a soft bag of cloth, leather, or rubber, filled with feathers, air, foam rubber, etc., on which to sit, kneel, or lie.
(source: Dictionary.com)

And American pillow sizes:
Standard: 50 x 66 cm (20 x 26″)
King: 50 x 91 cm (20 x 36″)
European: 66 x 66 cm (26 x 26″)

Spanish twin beds and a thin rectangular pillow can be seen on the right. I like how the chandelier is reflected on the wall in the photo. This is the room where we used to sleep, but nowadays we have our own room at O’s parents’ place.

And a funny pillow story to finish off:

In the autumn of 2002 some of my fellow masterini* and I, who happened to all live in Belgium, organised a reunion in Brussels. Among us, we managed to host everybody in our homes so nobody had to sleep in a hotel. I lived in a tiny attic apartment with a small bedroom + a sleeping loft, and we were 7 of us, so I had asked my Austrian friend T** to bring a mattress, since he was driving from The Hague.

The friends that I were hosting arrived from different corners of Europe, and T was a little late as usual. When he unpacked his car I asked him about the mattress. He said “Oh, I decided to not bring a mattress, but I brought my pillow“!! Well, the pillow was big (square when I think about it!) but a little small to sleep on, so I guess he wasn’t that comfortable during the two nights he stayed at my place… But as the saying goes “as you make your bed, you must lie in it”!  That he was utterly shocked by the fact that we were two Swedish girls and one Swedish guy sharing the sofa bed is another story 

*) Nickname for the students who have studied my Master’s programme in Venice – it really should be masteroni after graduation but the Italian diminutive just stuck..
**) Austrian T was the one who took over my apartment in Brussels when I moved to Puerto Rico – but he has since then moved back to Vienna.

December plans and travel hick-ups

I thought that it was time to show some more photos from our week in Spain in July… while I tell you about probably the most stupid thing I have ever done!!!

Last week we finally booked the tickets for:

1) our cruise in December! Yes, we are finally going to see some of the other islands in the Caribbean, before we move back to Europe (February??). Since we arrived to Puerto Rico two years ago, we have been contemplating how to see more of the region and everybody has told us – go on a cruise… I have always been very sceptical to the whole cruise-thing but it does seem to be the most practical way to island-hop!?

The cruise will take us to St Thomas, Dominica, Barbados, Antigua, St Kitts and St Maarten over 7 days leaving from San Juan (of course) the first weekend of December.

2) tickets to go to Spain for Christmas! Since O and I have already celebrated Christmas with my family (2007), in Puerto Rico though and not Sweden, it only seemed fair that our first European Christmas together would be spent in Spain with O’s family. We leave on the 23rd December, arriving on Christmas Eve’s morning to Madrid and hopefully somebody will be able to pick us up by car (otherwise it is two changes with the metro + train). The tickets to fly to Spain for Christmas were more expensive than our 7-day Caribbean cruise!

A typical sign in Spain – what we in Sweden call the Spanish turn (spanska svängen), a way to avoid dangerous left-hand turns on busy roads

3) However, not as expensive as our tickets from Madrid to Copenhagen in January could have been… After we had booked the above travels, we for some reason waited with buying our tickets to go to Sweden (via Copenhagen). Maybe we felt that we had to give the credit card a rest? I checked for tickets via different ticket search websites and yesterday I finally found the cheapest tickets – flying with Finnair via Helsinki! Ok, a bit of a detour but we are trying to save some money on travels…

The cheapest tickets I found were through a Swedish online travel agency and when I tried to pay with O’s credit card I encountered some problems. On most websites when you buy a plane ticket you first fill out the name(s) of the passengers and then you have to fill out the name of the credit card holder, credit card number etc. However, on this website there were no boxes for the name of the credit card holder as the name of the main passenger was automatically chosen. O has two surnames like all Spaniards, so on the passenger details I filled out his complete name, as you should but then I realised that his Belgian credit card only mentions one family name – in other words there was a discrepancy! The other problem was that yes, it is a Belgian card but O’s billing address is in Puerto Rico… Needless to say there was a problem with the payment.

The papal (!) castle seen from the village

I tried several times, changing the names – so I would be the main traveller and thus pay with my credit card – at least the names on my passport and card correspond, but no, I kept getting an error message (my billing address is my parents’ in Sweden). I then tried to book the same ticket through the Belgian website (same company) but it didn’t work either, probably due to the billing addresses not being in Belgium.

Then I had the brilliant idea to check if maybe the tickets were equally cheap on Finnair’s website – the difference was a few Euros, and voilà, it worked fine with O’s Belgian credit card and address in Puerto Rico. Happy that all the December-January travels were finally booked, I checked my emails for confirmations and what do I see: I have TWO bookings for the same tickets!! The reservation from the Belgian website had somehow gone through despite all the error messages!!! Arrrggggghhhhh!

O, who is always the one to keep his calm and not to panic like myself, asks me for the Finnair phone number and calls them to explain our problem – and is told that there are THREE reservations in our names for the same flight!

What to do, what to do? The Finnair lady tells O to contact the Swedish travel agency and explain to them the situation, but unfortunately their customer service opening hours are 13-17  (Swedish time) so we need to wait until the morning (Puerto Rican time). In the meanwhile I calculate that we have paid more than 1000 € for SIX tickets Madrid – Copenhagen (not refundable) and that I definitely shouldn’t get any Christmas presents this year (or next)…

The village seen from the palace

To make a long story short (??), this morning I checked our emails and both O and I had received notifications that the payment of our tickets through the travel agency had not gone through, I found a FAQ on the website saying that you can’t pay with a Belgian credit card on the Swedish site, and I call the customer service and the helpful agent cancels our reservations and tells me that they would have been cancelled anyway at the end of today since the payments had not gone through.

Fingers crossed that we haven’t been debited anything extra, we should have ONE reservation valid and payed for with Finnair and hopefully we will be going to Sweden on the 2nd January for 8 days, to celebrate my sister’s 27th birthday and my grandfather’s 90th!

Vikings in Spain? A medieval market in O’s village this summer – fortune tellers in Viking runes (alphabet)!?

Lesson learnt: PATIENCE! Make sure that your online reservation / payment has not gone through before trying another alternative. And book through the plane companies’ web-sites when possible (that’s what we ended up doing with our tickets to Spain from Puerto Rico as well - American Airlines had the cheapest tickets!).

And maybe we will all get Christmas presents this year…

Wednesday recipe: Salmon & avocado salad + Etiquette poll on toilet lid manners

It is still Wednesday in my part of the world and here’s a recipe to prove it

Salmon & Avocado Salad
1 piece of salmon filet (~400 grams)
2 tablespoons French Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon olive oil
3 tablespoons dill, parsley or tarragon
1 teaspoon coarse (Kosher) salt
freshly ground black pepper
crispy lettuce (such as Iceberg or romaine)
1 big avocado
1 onion – chopped
1 lemon – juice and peel
a handful of pickled gherkins – chopped

Heat the oven to 200 degrees C (400 degrees F). Mix the mustard, olive oil, black pepper, salt, chopped gherkins and onion, lemon peel and herbs in a small bowl. Spread the mixture evenly on the salmon and bake in the oven approximately 10-15 minutes.
Cut or tear the lettuce and put in a salad bowl. Cut the avocado in small cubes and add to the lettuce, sprinkle some lemon juice on top.
Serve the salad mixed with the oven-baked salmon and some bread.

(Recipe inspired by “Varm laxsallad med avokado” from the book Kärlek, Oliver och Timjan by Anna and Fanny Bergenström)
 

And now to the etiquette poll: Toilet lid manners!

As you know, we have had a lot of visitors to our home here in Puerto Rico, and when you spend time close to family and friends for a while, you notice certain habits… One of the things that has struck me the most is that very few, men and women, put down the lid after using the toilet! The lid, not the ring – which fortunately most men do lower after having done their business…

I have also noticed that in almost every home shown on my favourite tv channel, HGTV, the toilet lid is always up! This in homes that have been staged, styled and designed to be sold! Am I the only person who thinks that it looks nicer if the lid is closed?? Isn’t that the reason why there is one?

So, I am curious – let me know your thoughts on “toilet lid manners”…

Every time I walk past the guest bathroom and I can see that the lid is up, I have to enter and close it… I am sure a lot of people think it is silly and O is definitely one of them! We have been discussing the “raison d’être” of the toilet lid, and I always try to suggest that it might have been invented so to avoid that people accidentally drop something into the toilet, or so that you can use it as a seat but most of all – it is there to be closed!

“You haven’t forgotten anything? Did you lower the lid and flush?” (apparently the French speakers only need to be reminded to flush…)

However, it can’t just be me, because I found these signs (above and below) displayed in the toilets* in the Alliance Francaise!

Might seem superfluous to remind the “users” to flush – but after having worked in a hotel as a cleaning lady, I know that a lot of people seem to forget (??) to do this… In many places in Puerto Rico (and in Greece!) you are asked to throw the toilet paper in the trash can (zafacón is Puerto Rican Spanish) because the sewage system is so bad.

Speaking of toilets, I might have mentioned already that the exterior of our building is being renovated and painted – we have now, after ~3 months, reached the painting phase, which means that the construction workers are doing their second round of the four walls. This morning I heard that they were somewhere outside our master bedroom and decided to go to the loo in the guest bathroom instead. Just when I am sitting there, I can hear the “window-cleaner lift” approaching outside… and voilà, it stops right outside the bathroom window!! Fortunately I was behind a shower curtain, but still, needless to say I didn’t feel very relaxed about the situation!

Outside the bathroom window this morning…

A few minutes later I was sitting in front of the computer in my pj’s when I heard voices behind me – arrggghh, they seemed to be everywhere today! I am starting to feel besieged, and quite frankly tired of having people outside the windows – on the 9th floor!

*) And yes, I am European and I am not afraid of calling a toilet a toilet (or even “loo”) - half-baths, powder rooms etc sound just silly in my ears!

Le mariage strasbourgeois

The wedding in Strasbourg at the beginning of July is best told in photos:

I arrived on the Thursday evening to Strasbourg – there is a direct flight from Copenhagen to everybody’s surprise (some guests hadn’t even bothered to check so they had to travel via Frankfurt). I thought that the heart-shaped window shutter at my hotel was very fitting for the weekend!

Friday: The Civil Ceremony

On Friday morning I took a walk in Strasbourg, a city I barely know even though it was my second wedding there (first one was in 2003). The sun was shining and I enjoyed walking along the narrow streets and the river called Ill (I keep thinking that people were referring to an island – “l’île”).

I can never resist taking a photo of bilingual street signs

Despite the morning sunshine the afternoon turned out to be very grey and rainy – here the happy couple is heading towards the Hôtel de Ville under the rain (and through the market)

The Hôtel de Ville where the civil ceremony took place. French couples always need to get married in a civil ceremony, regardless whether there is a religious ceremony afterwards. Only family members and witnesses are usually invited to the civil ceremony if followed by a church wedding. The mayor reads several legal paragraphs, and the couples’ addresses and professions (as well as their parents’ and witnesses’ addresses and professions*) before the couple gets to say “oui” to each other.

“Le livret de famille” or Family booklet where marriage, births of (maximum 10**) children and deaths are noted was handed over to the couple at the civil ceremony.

A kiss between Sarko[zy] and Marianne (symbol of the Republic) at the Hôtel de Ville

Champagne and roses after the civil ceremony

The rain was pouring down in the afternoon…

“Je t’aime, moi non plus”…

Saturday: The Religious Wedding

The hairdresser made a house call on the wedding day morning and did the bride’s and female witnesses’ hair

The religious ceremony in l’église Sainte Madeleine in Strasbourg. The bride had asked me to read “la prière universelle” (the Universal prayer) in the church, and I was quite nervous but I told myself that this is what I have been preparing for during all these years when I have struggled with my French and felt that it wasn’t good enough… I was wondering though if the priest knew that I am protestant!? An older wedding guest came up to me at the reception afterwards and told me that I had read very well and that my accent was very sweet – for once I didn’t take it as an insult

Since the couple lives in Geneva, Switzerland, the bride wanted some kind of Swiss symbol for the wedding and the cow bells fit the bill – instead of throwing rice or confetti…

Leaving the church in style…

The rings – in French there is a distinction between “l’alliance” (the wedding ring) and “bague de fiancailles” (engagement ring) – I always forget and call everything “bague”

Sausages at the “Vin d’honneur” – an Alsatian tradition?

Bretzel (pretzel in English) and champagne at the “Vin d’honneur”

Château de Pourtalès where the wedding dinner took place – the couple on the right are the next ones to get married, in Dublin in August but unfortunately we can’t make it

The placement cards were old love letters (or rather postcards) that the couple had found at flea markets – a great ice breaker as most of them had something written on the back (original text)

The wedding dinner was lovely, and since we were quite a few Scandinavians (Swedes, Danes and Norwegians) we introduced a few Scando wedding traditions such as making the couple kiss under the table and standing on the chairs, as well as stealing kisses when one of them left the table (when the groom leaves the table, all the male guests run to kiss the bride and vice versa)

The biggest fireworks ever before the dessert and dancing…

It was a wonderful wedding, and I am sure that “P No 1″ and her G will be very happy together. I felt so honoured that she had chosen me as one of her witnesses, and it was great to witness how much in love the couple is.

*) The bride apologised to me that they had refused to mention a profession for me as I am currently unemployed – I didn’t care of course, it all seemed a little silly to me
**) I guess they add pages if you have more than 10 kids…

Back from a long blog silence…

I’m back!! It always feels a little weird to come home after a long holiday, but I am trying to get back to my usual habits in Puerto Rico, including the blogging. O’s brother C and German girlfriend G arrived one day before us on Saturday to San Juan, and tomorrow my aunt arrives so the apartment will be full – but it will be fun!

The sun was setting when we were coming in for landing in San Juan yesterday

I had a lovely time in Europe and not too much inspiration to sit in front of the computer when I could spend time with family and friends, and enjoy the Swedish summer! The Spanish summer was a little too hot for me (between 35-45 degrees!), but it was still good to catch up with O’s family and friends. And the wedding in Strasbourg at the beginning of July was wonderful and I even survived reading a prayer in French in the church Everything will be “showed and told” on the blog in the coming days…

The sunset seen from the plane

If you are European and you aren’t going to vote…

…you should be ashamed of yourself*!!!

There is no excuse – nobody who reads any newspaper and / or watches the news can have missed that the European elections are taking place tomorrow**. I just can’t believe one survey made in Sweden which claims that 1 out of 4 Swedish voters do not know about the elections!
My busy friend Å in Copenhagen wrote on her Facebook status the other day: “[I] took a two minutes detour for democracy while rushing between work and kindergarten and speed-voted for the European Parliament. So anyone claiming “I did not have time to vote” will need to look for another argument…”
If you have other excuses why you are not voting – check out this blog (in Swedish) for some reasons why you should vote!

If you are still wondering how the European Parliament and its elections work – check out this FAQs on BBC News, information in Swedish here and this link to the European Parliament itself.

The European Parliament in Brussels

We are 375 million Europeans in 27 countries to vote for the European Parliament, which means that it is the biggest “trans-national election in history” (according to BBC News) and if that isn’t a reason enough to exercise your right to vote, consider that TODAY (6th June) the 65th anniversary of D-Day was celebrated in Normandie! See how far we have come with European integration since that day in 1944! Think of that and don’t tell me that the European Union isn’t important!

The Berlaymont building in Brussels which houses the European Commission

Why are Swedes such Euro-sceptics together with the British? Well, I think that it is very much a problem of how we look at Europe – as the Continent, or in other words as them, not us. We don’t feel as European as a Belgian, German, Italian or French. In most countries on the Continent the European flag always flies next to the national flag, and people cross borders and use Euros without considering it “travelling abroad” anymore…

The City Hall in Aix-en-Provence, France flies the European flag

The City Hall in Zaragoza, Spain with the European flag

The European flag outside a theatre in Lisbon, Portugal

My 89-year old grandfather is one of the anti-EU Swedes (but according to my father he has already voted!) and I think for his generation in Sweden it is a question of fear – they remember the mess of the Second World War, which happened mostly on the Continent and not in Sweden (even though both Norway and Finland were very much involved). So, while Europeans his age remember the war and therefore support the European idea, he and his generation in Sweden still want to keep out to avoid involvement.

American war monument in Bastogne, Belgium

What I can’t understand is that the younger generation is still sceptical – haven’t they realised the marvels of being able to travel, study and work anywhere in Europe? Not having to worry about visas and work permits…

Arrivals and departures at the Venice trainstation – cross-border trains to Geneva (not part of the EU) and Slovenia

And if you are one of the critics of the European Union, without exercising your democratic right (obligation!), I believe that you have no right to criticise – there are lots of Euro-critical parties to vote for!

I am European and I am proud of it! GO and VOTE!!

The European flag in Bruges, Belgium

*) In Swedish there is a saying that goes something like “you will never be a prophet in your own home[town]” and unfortunately O is one of the Europeans who hasn’t voted! I have told him that it is unforgiveable, especially as he has lived and studied / worked in two different European countries, and is married to another European! Without the European Union we probably never would have met…
**) Some member states, such as the UK and the Netherlands have already voted earlier this week.

Friday theme / Show & tell: Speaking of languages…

Today’s theme has been chosen by Musikanta in Sweden and is quite fittingly: “Speaking of languages…”! Maybe you are already bored of my language posts but it is a subject that affects my everyday life as an expat and that is probably why I keep returning to this issue…

Musikanta actually asked me a few weeks ago how I ended up in Brussels and then Puerto Rico with a Spanish husband, and I have been asking myself a few times how it all started…

Did it start when I moved with my parents and siblings to England in 1988, and I had to learn the language in order to keep up in the English school? Or did it start even earlier?

Part of the lawn that was full of four-leaf clovers when I was a child… even if my brother and I never found any!

My parents have always travelled with us three children – and my childhood is filled with travel stories; my first trip “abroad” was by ferry to Helsingör (Elsinore) in Denmark (my travel outfit was a cute little red dress and a white scarf around my hair – very chic!) just before my 1st birthday; the first time I drank from a straw was in a autobahn restaurant somewhere in Germany and my parents had some trouble teaching me how to “suck up” my drink; the Swiss chef who made porridge especially for me in the hotel by Lake Geneva but I just cried because his big red nose really scared me; my father’s uncle’s Swiss wife who always found four-leaf clovers for me and my brother in their wonderful garden; the bird shit I sat in just in front of Notre-Dame in Paris in 1982; the toilet attendant I didn’t understand at Windsor Castle so I went into the gents’ where my father and brother were – many of these memories include the notion of not understanding the language spoken to me or around me.

The village in the south of France – there is a similar photo of me and my brother standing outside the café… but I took this picture when I revisited the village in 2005

All the while we were travelling around Europe by car, my mother would try to entertain us by inventing games (spot different cars or flags) or to sing songs. One of my strongest memories is learning the song Brother John in different languages:

Frère Jacques, frère Jacques,
Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?
Sonnez les matines! Sonnez les matines!
Din, dan, don. Din, dan, don

Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping
Brother John, brother John?
Morning bells are ringing! Morning bells are ringing!
Ding, dong, ding. Ding, dong, ding

Bruder Jakob, Bruder Jakob,
Schläfst du noch? Schläfst du noch?
Hörst du nicht die Glocken, Hörst du nicht die Glocken?
Ding, dang, dong, Ding, dang, dong

Broder Jakob, Broder Jakob,
Sover du? Sover du?
Hör du inte klockan? Hör du inte klockan?
Ding, ding, dong, Ding, ding, dong

(this song also reminds me of a great Midsummer’s eve party in Brussels when I had printed out the song in several European languages – it was a great “snaps song” for the very international mix of guests!)

Maybe that’s how my fascination for languages was triggered?

Or maybe it was the visit of the three sisters of my mother’s French pen pal Anne-Marie, all of them with double-names (Marie-Hélène is the only one I remember) and their black friend Eddie in 1981? It was probably one of the first times that my brother and I met a black person and we thought that Eddie was so cool! The four French visitors arrived one morning in an old Citroën, they had actually slept in the car just outside Dalby (10 km away) as they were too embarrassed to arrive earlier than announced. It was a great few days – Eddie played my father’s guitar, the girls cooked huge portions of pasta and tomato sauce, smoked cigarettes and drank wine with my parents… The French sisters taught my brother and I to count in French, and we sat up late at night on the patio listening to the adults’ conversation in broken English and French. I observed with fascination these French twentysomethings who were so different from my parents and the other adults I knew in our middle class neighbourhood. My brother was probably more interested in the Citroën, as it behaved strangely by rising up when the engine was turned on…

The bakery where my brother and I practised one of our first sentences in French!

A few years later we spent a few summers in the south of France and every morning my brother and I used to walk on our own to the boulangerie (bakery) in the small village to buy “une baguette et un bâtard, s’il vous plaît“… We were so proud that we were allowed to go to the bakery without our parents and also that we could buy bread in French!

So, speaking of languages, these are probably some of the reasons why I am so interested in learning new languages – to be able to communicate with people! I have always loved travelling and getting to know new cultures but in order to do that, I understood from a very early age that you need to speak different languages…

I remember how my parents discussed what kind of “infusion” (third from the bottom in the left-hand column) it was that you could order in the village bar in the south of France – nowadays I know that it means herbal tea!

The other Friday bloggers can be found below:
Anki, Anna, Annika, Christel, Curieux, Desiree, Emma, Erica, IamAnnika, IngaBritt, Jemaya, Lena W, Leopardia, Mais-oui, Marie, Mia D, Millan, Moster Mjölgumpa, Musikanta, Nilla, Norrsken & Stjärnfall, Petra H, Saltis, Sara, Simone, Sparkling, Strandmamman, Taina, Under Ytan, Victoria V and Västmanländskan.

Hen party weekend in Copenhagen

I have such a back log from my European tour, but here’s a post on the fun girls’ weekend in Copenhagen a month ago:

Four of my best friends from university and I always try to meet up at least once a year for a girls’ weekend. We met while studying a master’s degree in human rights in Venice 2000-2001 and have kept in touch ever since. It is not always so easy to find a time and place that suit everybody, especially as we are Swedish, Danish, Irish and French and have lived in various countries over the years (among the 5 of us we have lived in Austria, Belgium, Denmark, France, Ireland, Italy, Kenya, Nepal, Puerto Rico, Sweden, Switzerland, Uganda and the US since we met 9 years ago)…

However, this year is special because two of the girls are getting married – Irish O and French P! And this means two things; that we will have the opportunity to meet up more than once this year and of course hen parties needed to be organised! Last hen party we arranged was actually for a male hen – in Venice!

Here are some photos to illustrate what we were up to in Copenhagen in March:

Since three of us were flying into Copenhagen on the Friday at different times, we decided to take it easy and just stay at home at Danish L’s new big place. I brought a suitcase full of tapas ingredients (chorizo, jamón, olives, paté and manchego cheese) directly from Spain and the other girls provided the wine…

The Saturday was spent shopping and having a very late but free lunch in a local wine bar, Falernum which was celebrating its first anniversary – perfect!

The free lunch including delicious Danish kransekager (the small striped cookie on the plate – made from marzipan) and free wine. We actually tried to pay for the wine as we felt a little embarrassed to get everything for free… but to no avail.

Some of the challenges for the two “hens”

After some champagne at home, we had a great dinner at the French restaurant Les trois cochons (click on link for a review in the NY Times!) in Copenhagen’s Little France (Værnedamsvej in Frederiksberg – same street where the wine bar is located) and the two hens were given their challenges for the night…

Gammel Dansk and shot glasses miraculously appeared in a bike basket next to the restaurant – it took the hens a moment or two to discover them despite help from the rest of us… The Gammel Dansk has a long tradition with our group, dating back to the 30th April 2001 and a Danish / Swedish herring breakfast.

Unfortunately the nearby gay bar had stopped doing karaoke several years ago (opps!) but they did have a jukebox… and to our delight they had the right version of “I will survive”! The bar was almost empty and with the help of some Galliano Hot Shots (shot classic from the 1990’s) we definitely livened up the place

(I just realised that I have the same dress as the singer in the video – bought in Hong Kong in 1997! Unfortunately it doesn’t fit me anymore…)

The hens were supposed to seek marriage advice from married strangers but there were not that many married people around… Not even in the relaxed cocktail bar, Boutique Lize off Istedgade where we continued the night. The bouncer was friendly though!

The later part of the night was danced away in the Karriere Bar in the Vesterbro meat-packing district (yes, it is not just in NYC that that area is hip!). The place has maybe not the most charming address: Flæsketorvet (Pork Square) but it is a cool place with no entrance fee and the music is a great mix of old 90’s classics (yes, we are old!!) and newer music…

Some of you might remember from our hen party in Venice that the most important part of sending off a friend to marriage-hood is the Brussels tradition of le brûlage de culottes or the burning of the knickers… I have participated in several brûlages at the Grand’ Place in Brussels, and even though the police circled us on many occasions, they never said a word – it is after all a local tradition! However, I think we were the first ones to introduce the tradition to Venice – and the carabinieri (police) were not that amused… In Copenhagen we chose a less public place – right outside the club at closing time!

But first, of course the knickers have to be worn before they can be burnt! Usually one challenge is to get the underwear off underneath the clothes – previously only two girls have worn skirts. Our two hens had another, more practical approach…

It is surprisingly difficult to set fire to underwear. But once they burn, they burn and burn and burn… You might even get a bit bored after you have taken a load of photos!

Advice for burning knickers: choose synthetic ones and as small as possible… Thick cotton boxers belonging to the future groom are not easy to burn – I speak from experience!

Pants on fire!

There wasn’t much left over from the knickers once they had burnt out (finally!!). The henparty was over and we headed home for some Swiss rösti before Irish O had to get an early morning flight to Kinshasa and the rest of us crashed into bed at 05…

A yummy Danish burger to finish off the weekend – it tasted very good after the long night of hen partying

Next reunion: P’s wedding in Strasbourg in July! (which will be the first time I meet the lucky guy – P’s fiance G!)

PS Sorry for the bad quality of the photos – night time photographing is not ideal with my camera…

A traveller’s complaints

I am back in Puerto Rico and it feels great to be home, but also a bit weird after two full months in Europe! I haven’t done much today, slept until 10, tried to unpack (boooring!) and get some order in the apartment. O had already done some heavy cleaning in parts of our home (bathroom, kitchen) but I think we need to do a proper spring cleaning (inspired by Anne in Oregon!).

Planes ready for take-off at Newark airport in New Jersey

My trip back yesterday went ok but some remarks:

• Why is it impossible to plan the security check zone in a more practical manner? There is always a buildup after the x-ray scan where people are trying to put on shoes, belts, put laptops back into bags as soon as possible (and still you are told to hurry up)… And very often there is no place to actually sit down while putting back your shoes – I feel sorry for old travellers and people with children.
• Why is it not possible to buy credit for your mobile phone in an American airport? I have a “pay & go” AT&T phone and the credit expires so quickly (I think it is 30 days if you recharge with $15) that my credit was no longer valid when I got back yesterday. In Europe every news agent sells phone credit!!
• The Delta business lounge in Atlanta is a joke – internet is not for free if you are not a Delta member (not the case for Continental in Newark), there is hardly seating for everyone and they only serve some sad looking snacks. In the Novia lounge in Copenhagen I had a great breakfast with a choice of different rolls and bread, cheese, jam, cookies and pastries + newspapers in almost every European language. I actually left the Delta lounge because it was too crowded and not very nice at all – I preferred sitting at the gate!


Copenhagen airport

• Why are you questioned as a [young] woman travelling business? While waiting for the check-in desks in Copenhagen to open I was asked by three staff members if I was really travelling business… Just because I am not wearing a suit and tie!?
• Why are all the in-flight movies in economy either action or a true story about a baseball / football team? Fortunately I was travelling business and got to watch 3 films that I have wanted to see for a long time: Changeling, Doubt and The Secret Lives of Bees.
• In the last two months I have travelled to / from / via the airports in San Juan, Newark, Copenhagen, Sturup (Malmö), Bromma (Stockholm), Brussels (Zaventem), Charleroi, Zaragoza, Madrid and Atlanta – and Copenhagen remains a firm favourite! The atmosphere, shops, restaurants and service is the best according to me. Madrid was a disappointment, where there seemed to be no independent shops, only boring old duty-free (I don’t usually do a lot of shopping in airports but it is nice to “window-shop” while waiting for a connection)!


Copenhagen airport view

• I met the nicest immigration officer ever yesterday in Atlanta - he turned out to be Puerto Rican and we had a nice chat about electricity prices in PR (very high compared to mainland US), the housing market and what to visit on the island!
• Am I the only one who never drinks alcohol on planes? I get so dehydrated anyway so I stick to lots of water! In the Copenhagen business lounge two Swedes (of course!?) drank beer at 07 in the morning!

But really, I prefer taking the train – which I did last Thursday when going back to Skåne from Stockholm; a 5½ Inter-City train-ride! No worries about liquids in your hand-luggage, no stressful security check (which you actually have when travelling by train in Spain for obvious reasons), space to walk around and a great view from the windows! However, the people travelling from Stockholm to Sävsjö can’t have been very happy as the train driver forgot to stop at that station!?

The view from my train window last week

Shake hands with the devil

People ask us how our European holidays are, and we have to keep explaining that actually, O is not on holidays; he is still working – remotely. He is constantly on the phone during the afternoons and evenings, due to the time difference and we have been trying to adjust the meal times to the Puerto Rican lunch breaks. When we were in Sweden and Brussels I was busy socialising (or being ill!) but in Spain I haven’t had too much to do…

Fortunately I had a very good book to read last week – Shake hands with the devil by Roméo Dallaire. The author was the commander of UNAMIR*, the UN Peace-keeping force in Rwanda during the genocide and he has written a detailed and very critical account of how the world was unable of stopping the slaughter in the small African country in 1993-94. I can highly recommend this book – because I believe that reading is not always about passing time with an entertaining book, I sometimes also want to learn something new. As Emma wrote last Friday about reading (my translation) “All knowledge is good knowledge, and if you don’t know that repulsiveness exists, you can’t do anything to remedy it“.

Shake hands with the devil is a very hard book to read, both because of the gruesome details but also the length of the book but it is so important to read about what happened in order for this kind of human disaster to never happen again. I hope that the more people who read this book, the more will push their countries to support UN-led interventions in these kinds of conflicts and not only when there are big oil interests or possible arms of mass destruction at stake!

Reading the account of the genocide is absolutely shocking in more ways than just the killing of almost one million Rwandans – the blatant racism of the Belgian UN-soldiers, the unwillingness of the United States’ government to intervene (one American civil servant called Roméo Dallaire during the genocide and explained that according to the estimates, it would take the lives of 85,000 Rwandans to justify risking one American soldier’s life!) and the frustration but also courage of the few UN-soldiers who were present in the country during those terrible 100 days in 1994.

I will finish off with Roméo Dallaire’s own words: No matter how idealistic the aim sounds, this new century must become the Century of Humanity, when we as human beings rise above race, creed, colour, religion and national self-interest and put the good of humanity above the good of our own tribe. For the sake of the children and of our future (last paragraph of the book).

Here is a link to a BBC Hard Talk-interview with Roméo Dallaire**

*) UNAMIR = United Nations Assistance Mission for Rwanda
**) I haven’t been able to see the full clip as the sound for some reason is not working properly on this Linux-laptop (did I mention how frustrating I find using Linux? Sorry all Linux-fans! Maybe it is just a setting that needs to be adjusted by somebody more clever than I!)
***) Photos are not from Rwanda, they are from Wadi Rum in Jordan